“How the Fuck do you think I am?” Dusty Bews
I was thinking that would have a strong appeal to my family who all profess to have ADD (and have noted that my blogs are too long).
I have laughed about his statement over and over. That’s how it is with Dusty, he makes me laugh because he says things that I may have thought but don’t think to say.
Dusty has been a rock. He knocked it out of the park 12 years ago- proving that he took the “In sickness and in health” promise seriously. He remembers every med and blood count and detail, allowing me to float in my rainbow haze loving everyone.
He was with me when I was diagnosed, I went to “Shit I have to tell everyone” and he went to “Fuck, I don’t want to have to watch you go through this again”. Once we got over this we are united in knowing that I will get through this better than anyone can believe, laughing at all the dark humour that emerges in the situation and stepping up to the task of helping manage me, the kids and our life, while still working 40+ hours per week.
Dusty does not allow me to wallow in self pity, giving 'to the point advice' as needed “If you would get off of your ass you would feel better”. I am grateful that we have some wonderful friends and our parents that he can lean on.
When we went through this in 2000 he quit work (was working on the movie “The Claim” at Fortress) and was with me every step of the way- doing puzzles, remembering and watching me. He just told me that he doesn’t do puzzles this time. Over the years I’ve often thought that that time was harder on him than me. I remember saying “Geez Dusty, when’s the bad part- I feel great”, He said “Honey, you are as high as a kite”. I’m sure you all get it- and hence the question “how is Dusty doing?”.
Now don’t get me wrong, he’s not ready for sainthood yet, his bickering with our 13 year old makes me want to tear out my itty bitty hairs.
In my opinion Dusty is doing great, he is here, he is supportive, he is understanding and he is fun. I feel lucky.
Here is the Mothers Day gift that Dusty made me- a raised garden (planted on Sunday with the help of my friend Suzi).
Ok Fawna, I can no longer "creep" your page, and take the gifts and insights you so generously offer in your writing without introducing myself and offering my deepest thank you for the laughter, tears and uplifted spirit they bring me. I know of you thru my friend and your uncle Don Edey and he invited me to check out your page and to say hello.
ReplyDeleteI am the mom of a beloved son who battled leukemia twice, once at age 9 and again at 25,as the Dr.'s would say it was not a "positive outcome"
What they could not measure nor predict was how that experience brought so many positives to our lives then and they go on and on. Your grace and caring for all you meet, remind me of his heart and connection to everyone he met.
I am a sister, and at this moment she and her husband are going thru the scenario you and Dusty are experiencing, second time around, and so I feel as though I know your family and how they care and worry and try to be there in all ways possible, often feeling helpless and useless. Not true, really but that is what happens when the fear raises it voice.
I am a best friend of a woman, who just "celebrated"????? (seriously what is the right word?) the 1st year anniversary of her husbands death,....And so I stand in the shoes of all of your "best friends" ( and I love hearing in your blog that they are there in droves ) and feel the helplessness and worry and concern and the joyfullness and sharing and laughter and the most inspiring kindness'es, Your stories of them, make me aspire to be a better friend.
I am a therapist, and I feel such kinship with the incredible, healers you work and play with to delve into the endless possiblities of creating a divine health in all areas, thank you, for introducing their words and work to the rest of us on your journey, as well as the awareness and insights of your own work.
I am a wife, and Dusty's blog could have been "written" by the man I have loved, it seems like forever. I can't wait to show it to him. I can feel his heart will resonate deeply with Dusty's words.
I am a daughter and I feel so deeply for the family of your birth, It is not a cliche that most parents would trade their own lives for their childs.
I am a grandmother of almost teenagers and the eye rolling and comments of yours spark a laughter and recognition, and being a teenager is a big job all on it's own, being the teenager of a mom who sees so deeply brings a whole new set of challenges, but thank you to them for allowing the sharing of "real life" stories
I am in awe of the clarity and grittiness and humour in your writing, and I am filled with gratitude that you share this journey so generously. You are shining a light into some of our darkest corners and deepest fears and showing us the love that truly lives there.
May all your healings be gentle
With Gratitude
Candy Scott
Beautifully shared Candy- Thank You so much xxoo, Fawna
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