The Big, Big Crayon Box: A Case for Enjoying Diversity

Remember these?  Oh how I loved these, I don't think I every actually had a box like this but it draws me in with wide eyed wonder.  That same magnet has matured into a love of Facebook, I seem to have an inherent delight in diversity, to such a degree that early in our marriage I lamented to my husband that I was afraid that in raising our children in our small town that they wouldn't be exposed to enough people of color or gender diversity (thank you internet for letting me have my white cake Longview and eat it, the children are grown and have been well exposed).

This love of diversity is part of who I am and my Pollyanna desire to embrace everyone and everything.  God Bless my stoic family upbringing for tempering this compulsion to socially acceptable levels and I've only miscued and over-hugged a few people (you know that awkward moment when you realize 'oops, not a hugger, my bad.)

My Facebook yesterday yielded lots of marchers, a few confused men, a few '#notmymarch already equal ladies' (that's good) the regular mix of spiritual enthusiasts and the few who give me enough bathroom humor to keep me grounded - I actually laughed out loud at "with all the ladies marching who's going to make us our sammiches".

I feel fortunate that my response to different is 'yay' or 'cool' or 'that's interesting' and rarely, but on occasion, NO, JUST NO - that's usually in response to the kind of contrary that takes advantage of someone else's vulnerability or a piercing that looks really painful, even in those cases I want to know more, I want to understand what would drive that behavior.

So, this is partially inherent, partly a choice and largely because of luck of the draw.  This larger part is because I feel safe.  I have the support and care I need to meet those bottom four layers of Maslows Hierarchy of Needs- see...

Our beautiful brains, in keeping our species alive, had thousands of years where tuning in to differences was necessary for survival.  Things that are novel, things we've never before seen trigger a response in us, when we feel safe it can be an AHHH (like vista's or new babies), when we don't feel safe it can be an AGHHH.  Our exposure and mixing of cultures through globalization has accelerated exponentially- of course we are freaking out!!!  Our downstairs brain- the amygdala- is saying "WHOA- what is that?  what is that?"  At the same time, expressions that have been hiding for generations are finally able to see the light of day, to feel the warmth of acceptance upon their hungry hearts and hesitant minds.

The whole point of this blog is not to brag on how open and accepting I am, it's to understand those people who are not so that we can move into being who we are even faster.  We are going in that direction and it will happen, the strange cat has been let out of the bag.  Look at this article, the gender assigned roles are being questioned.

When my marchers and my no marchers come into conflict it requires more dialogue and conversation- let's not shut down, let's trade our judgement (bad girl- no, YOU are a bad girl) for curiosity (what the heck? I don't get it sister)

For my privileged attitude to be the common; to allow true freedom for all we need people to feel supported and cared for- to be safe.  Patience as we put this puzzle together, it has 7 billion pieces and in Truth they are all a one and only.

Enjoy the crayons you encounter today, every color matters.

Love, Fawna

Tired of the Drama?  Want to be in charge of how your world looks?
Circle of Trust:  Shift to Healthy Relationships by Fawna Bews

You Kids Smarten Up...

Maybe I should take all political candidates and people off of my Facebook Feed.  Maybe I can use this, maybe there are no mistakes and getting fired up is exactly what I need.

Here's what I'm seeing:

Government of Alberta:  Smug, Smug, Smug, Smuggity, Smug, Smug
Opposition:  Scorn, Scorn, Scorn, Scoff, Scornity, Scoff, Scoff, Scoff

and it's not partisan, I saw this when the Conservatives were in too.  Having ads that show what great things you are doing just hit me wrong, and they both do it- isn't that your job?  I have to say- I try that at home too- LOOK AT ME- I MADE SUPPER, I GOT UP today, I MADE YOUR LUNCH...  in script at the bottom - "your Mom cares".  I'd rather the 'we are helping you' was obvious and the ad dollars went to something else.

Here's how I'm feeling.  I feel like when I'm in the car and the kids are in the back bickering.  When I see the tweets, when I see the posts and when I see article's and comment sections that have to do with anything political.  Bickering.  I want to say "if you kids don't start getting along your both going to walk- now grow up and get along".

Now, I have to make the swing from outside to inside- if this is bugging me it's not their deal (how I wish I could just make it their deal and continue with my rant!).  As within so without, as above so below, thank you Hermes.  I'm not responsible for the governments behavior- they haven't made me grand Mom yet (yet...).  I am responsible for my own peace of mind and I really don't want to go into today all fired up about something I can't control.

So, does smug and scorn and scoffity, scoff live in me...eek, think there may be shades of it right above.  My "I know" mind, based on a limited spectrum of knowledge is happy to defend herself.  She's a self righteous do gooder (if you are reading Circle of Trust she's the Rescuer).  On the other side is "who the hell do you think you are?" laid back and harumphing at my 'I'm so right'.

So, do I need a 'get along shirt?'

I am the Mom to me, and I do have Holy Spirit help (Jesus take the wheel!).  So if I want peace of mind, and I do, I need to let go, put down my defenses (I'm right and I'm wrong) and return to Grace. Trust myself, trust others and trust that bigger picture.

Everything is unfolding, my part to play will be obvious (blog away) and we are ultimately figuring it out.  Growing up happens, it's natural and requires gentle tending.  So I'm saying to those kids inside me, I hear you - you are better together - we are going to be okay.  As within, so without, let's see how this goes.

#donewiththedrama #circleoftrust

Do Be Do Be Do

I’m seeing some patterns here so let’s see if I can communicate this with some consistency and get your take on it.  You will need your microscope and your telescope for this one.  A couple of weeks ago I blogged about the “State of the Province Address I Wanted to See” and what I was trying to convey in that piece is that is not so much ‘who’ is governing but ‘how’ we are being governed that is frustrating me.  In the way that the Universe does I have since then had a lot of evidence that supports this.  Now I need to keep in mind that that’s how it works, you make a belief and then that’s what show’s up!  So let me preface by saying that this is a temporary viewpoint and a reflection of what I’m seeing right now on this ride we call life. 

In the last week I came across an author/teacher who is talking about us moving from ‘win-lose democracy’ to ‘cooperative’ democracy (here’s an adorable video of her here).  This is exactly what I was talking about.  Cooperative democracy- can we do that?   What does that even mean and what do we need to let go to let this grow? 

Well, we need to give up fighting for our side and move to communicating for our side.  So often we feel like the choice is fight or surrender, and in a win-lose situation I guess that’s the option.  In win-lose there is a loser, when there is a loser in society we all lose.  It creates an atmosphere of competition and fear that interferes with our caring and supportive nature. 

My opinion is that this is a societal maturation.  Win-Lose democracy was an expansion beyond autocracy and in the past 100 years we have been building a value around individualism and expression. 

I’m going to veer from the large picture here to the individual.  This win-lose democracy is also alive and well inside of me, a near constant election is happening about how I be or do.  Ultimately I believe there is only one choice- fear or love but I’m not always aware of that because fear is really good at keeping me busy with other choices that are actually choices between fear or fear (fight or flight?  Freeze?  Appease?), then busy assessing whether I made the right choice or not and finally busy meting out punishment and reward according to the assessment. 

To deal with this we’ve built up social mores and structure.  The simplest to understand is our structures around men and women.  This is how women are ______________.   This is how men are _____________.   This has made it easier to get along while we are all fighting the battle inside.  This external authority that was once a support to our peaceful coexistence no longer holds what we’ve grown into.  There was a time when men had complete control over the physical domain while women were charged with the emotional domain (obviously I’m oversimplifying all of this to make some point- there’s always exceptions!).  As women have moved into expressing themselves in the physical domain everyone has had to adjust!  The shift has happened and men are being expected to share the emotional load as women share the physical load, we are all becoming more whole as a result, more complex and more diverse as well- more of our True selves I hope, like snowflakes; each distinct.  While some may see that the world has ‘gone to hell in a handbasket’, what we are seeing is a natural growth and response to expanded awareness and ability.  Equality is the truth and no matter how hard we try to enforce unnatural laws, they are inherently unstable.  Just because we’ve told ourselves a story for a long time doesn’t make it true (men aren’t as sensitive, women are too emotional, men are better leaders, can you think of some more?). 

Back to the inner battle (are you still with me?), another way to talk about this is our inner masculine- simplified to doing and our inner feminine – simplified to being.  This do, be, do, be, do battle is happening, it’s what you catch in meditation and mindful activities.  In this we need to move from win-lose to cooperation- these are complementary activities.  We can do so much more when we attend to our being and we can be so much more when we also attend to the doing. 

Cooperation on the outside is going to require this inside cooperation, as Ghandi said, be the change.  Another way of saying this and another sign of societal maturity will be a move from the need for external authority to internal authority.  What a change if we could move our resources, both emotional and physical, from control (fear) to trust!  As one author says, if we could move from spending on weaponry to lifery.  So, bottom line, use the microscope- look inside sometimes so that you can see what’s going on in you, when you find that you can be at peace in you, well, then you can contribute to the peace in your home and beyond until peace is what we see in our telescope.  I can get really excited about that!  

Donald Trump is the President Elect of the United States.

Good Morning.  The world is a little rocked and a little shocked this morning.  Hilary Clinton with her years of experience, her buckets of money and a carefully detailed and executed plan - her mastery of control - has been defeated by something seemingly out of control.

If you are feeling the despair and hopelessness that many of my Facebook friends are feeling, if you are asking yourself "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" step back with me and let's take a magnified look.  

We all know somehow that going to counselling or getting coaching is helpful - so what keeps us from going?  Sometimes it's time and money but most often it's that little ridge, that little lip of straight up fear that keeps us complacent, good enough and looking the other way.  I feel that my role in coaching, counselling and in energy work is to simply hold your hand while you look at what you are afraid to look at.  My meditation or in sessions with healers, coaches and counsellors is where I do this work myself- where I look at the darkness, where I look at the shadow. 

In order to reach a goal you need to look at the reality.  It's like my Visa debt, I feel ashamed about it, I wish it wasn't there, so I will tend not to look at it, in not looking at it it lingers- and in fact like a mold- it grows.   The truth is- and I am purposely using a lower case truth because it's not ultimately the truth- but the truth of the current situation here on our Earth is that women, people of color and people of gender diversity are not on an equal playing field with white, heterosexual men.  The capital T Truth is that we are all equal, how could it be any other way?  Equal doesn't mean the same, but it does mean that shared power, value and belonging are a higher truth and more and more people are accepting this.  But not everybody.  

Equality requires trust and trust cannot coexist with fear, when we fear we disconnect.  The people who voted for Donald Trump are disenchanted with what government has become, it happened here in the province of Alberta.  Both elections prove a truth that's been forgotten, the power IS with the people- with people united.  Donald Trump found a group of people who no longer felt a belonging or connection to the status quo, he gave them a voice and he developed a healthy relationship with these people- they trust him and he trusted them- he didn't put near the money or door knockers out there, he asked them to vote and they did.  

.  

Where Donald Trump does not have a healthy relationship is with the other half of the population.  The half of voters who were left in tears early this morning.  These people do not trust Donald Trump and as I saw in many Twitter posts they do not feel a belonging in a Donald Trump winning America.  This half see's a bully.  

The antidote to bully is free expression. Now that 1/2 the country were heard it is extremely important that the other 1/2 do not fall silent.  To be truly heard requires some Grace, some composure.  Donald Trump and his team need to hear about women's rights, the true story of being a minority or of gender diversity in the USA (and in the world!), they need to be communicated to in a way that their hearts cannot help but open.  Donald Trump is married to an immigrant and he has daughters, I'd bet anything that in that big family of his there is some gender diversity!!  

People are asking this morning "what do I tell my kids?", you tell your kids that voting matters, that everyone is equal - even if society doesn't demonstrate it- it was true when slavery existed and women were considered chattel and it's True now.  You impel them to be kind and to be patient with a maturing culture.  You implore them to feed love and not fear.  

Let's fearlessly look at our accounts, we DO NOT embrace all equally right now- maybe you do individually- but I have to say that even the most Mother Theresa of us have trouble with someone (Donald Trump for instance).  When we are afraid we go to bully or rescuer or victim.  When we trust we become care, support and free expression- these are the tools we need now.  Feeding the drama, feeding the fear and powerlessness is not a productive use of our breath here on earth.  This is the opposite of covering it up and pretending- that's what people have so strongly pushed against- I often talk about the blanket over the dog terd.  You can still smell it, you still know it's there.  The dog terd is in plain site this morning.  This is not a personal metaphor for Donald Trump - it's a metaphor for the hidden stinkiness- the obstacles to love that are in all of us.  People who do not support equality are afraid, they feel threatened.  Threatened people react from that part of our brain that doesn't think, it's fight or flight- what I'm suggesting is that we do not unite there!!! 

Threatened people react from that part of our brain that doesn't think, it's fight or flight- what I'm suggesting is that we do not unite there!!! 

Let's stay in harmony and invite them in, listen to one another, if you have information that might alleviate fear don't stuff it down someone else's throat- we need to regulate (get safe), relate (get to know them) and then reason!! Brain science is now showing it.  Using your own self awareness this is the time to resist the temptation to become aggressive or to collapse, this doesn't mean you don't feel those feelings- it means you use those feelings to construct rather than destruct, Donald Trump is not your authority- you are!  Take heart in trusting the big picture, equal power, equal value and equal belonging of all people on Earth is the Truth- it is our destination, we will get there, in order to do so it's good to orient to where we are, please turn your passion towards social emotional strength- I am holding your hand, we can do this.  

Thoughts?
Fawna

If you want to know more about the concepts in this blog post please consider buying (Amazon or me) or borrowing my new book 'Circle of Trust', the time for Healthy Relationships is upon us.
https://www.amazon.ca/Circle-Trust-Shift-Healthy-Relationships-ebook/dp/B01KS6WAP8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478708603&sr=8-1&keywords=circle+of+trust

Blessed if I do. Blessed if I don't.

Blessed if you do, Blessed if you don’t?

How much of our precious time here do we spend ruminating on decisions  Should I do this or should I do that?  Is this the right thing or the wrong thing?  I don’t want to make a mistake. Even when we have made the choice and are active in doing what we decided the voice of doubt can be incessant. That voice can make even the simplest of jobs a grind.  I can't tell you how many times I've avoided certain jobs and realized that the only real difficulty in it is the rant inside "this isn't my job or why am I doing this or maybe I shoulda, coulda woulda!"  

It's hard enough when you are in normal everyday life, when you start down the spiritual path you add another slate of questions “how do I know if this is spirit or if it is ego?” and there are lots of answers for this (one is loud, one is quiet- how it feels, etc.) but what if it doesn’t really matter?

What if we are blessed if we do, blessed if you don't? This picture is a postcard that we keep on our dresser.

I have a tendency to set the GPS in my car and then just ignore it, it adjusts.  What if our way to Joy is already set in our GPS, we are inevitably on our way and every time we take a turn it simply re-calibrates the route?

It makes me think of the artist Bob Ross and his 'happy accidents' - many a time when I am so called lost, or off track do I find a really cool store, or meet someone or come upon the magic unexpected pieces of life.  

A statement that has been very supportive to me, I probably read it on a Facebook poster, has been "why do we assume that what's best for us is not what's best for everyone?"

I know that I certainly have held that belief, a hidden assumption that there is some kind of sacrifice involved.  If I choose to do something I want I will either have to pay for it in some way or it will inconvenience or require sacrifice of someone else.  No wonder decisions are so very hard- choosing your own heart or someone else's is not a good feeling choice at all!!  

What if this entire assumption (damned if you do, damned if you don't) is upside down?  And so well held that we see things through this lens.  Beliefs are like colored glasses.  

I am a scientist at heart, so I just suggest that you try it on, do a little experiment, for a day or an hour.  What if every decision were blessed if you do, blessed if you don't.  Some may be more roundabout, but a tour of the countryside can yield new experience.  The other thing I like to think of are video games, in the seeking games you cannot progress unless you have right jewels or tools to advance.  Think about how much more you could do if instead of paralyzed by indecision you were moving!  With that said there is no need to move at all- it's not about doing more, more, more, I think we've pretty much maxed out on that.  I've retired my superhero cape!  The decision to do nothing at all - also blessed, you don't have to buy it yet- just imagine if that were true.  I hear the arguments start right away in my head at that statement, our culture is heavily invested in the value of doing.  

With that said, I believe I will start now, start with the doing nothing.  

Blessed if I do, Blessed if I don't.  Have a great day. 

The State of the Province Speech I wanted to hear...

The State of the Province speech I wanted to hear…

Over the years I’ve been mystified (read judgmental) over the speeches that politicians make.  I KNOW the amount they are paying communications teams.  I just finished listening to Rachel Notley’s and, while I do appreciate her public service and the inherent difficulty of leading at this time- well, I had just hoped for something different.  In hindsight I can see that this was a blind hope- in no way is Rachel Notley governing differently than she said she would, in no way is she wavering from her values and ideals.  What I’m disappointed about is our system of governance, party politics (dogma) and us vs. them would not be seen as the best way to steer (as the word govern originates from) anything.  We are mid sea alternating between one shore and another- inevitably never getting anywhere. 

This would not be a problem if there were no passengers aboard- but there are- a whole province full.  A whole province full of beings with the same needs but different levels of these needs being met.  We all need food, water, shelter, relationships and the ability to express in some way.

Here’s where I think the party system fails us- the actions of our governance is focused on the goal of re-election and this is where the energy on all sides is focused.   The job at hand however is care and support of the people.

So, with that background, here’s what I would have liked to hear today.

Good Afternoon Fellow Albertans,

I’m here today to comment on the state of Alberta, I recognize that each and every one of you have a view on what this is from where you sit.  After years of prosperity and enjoying the Alberta Advantage we are in a different reality right now.  Many of you who enjoyed that advantage are now facing drastic changes and I recognize that the change in government a year ago was a shock and to many of you has been an aggravation.

Our priorities as the NDP party are different than our longstanding predeccesors but our commitment to the goal of prosperity for all Albertans is not.  The ultimate goal of all parties is a thriving economy and quality of life for the people of this province.  With the great privilege of leadership comes the responsibility to make decisions that matter to people.  Equality in this is crucial, for too long this has been a choice of supporting the rich or supporting the poor.  Well, this is no choice at all, when you don’t support the rich you lose jobs, when you don’t support the poor you cost the system more money.  While this is incredibly simplified I want you to hear that in order for Alberta to succeed our people need to be supported, our people need to be cared for, we as a governing body- both those of us in leadership and those in the opposition must have one goal and that is creating an environment in Alberta where people are able to express the wealth of personal contribution that they inherently possess. 

Today’s message must be one of looking forward, blaming anyone for where we are now is not a good use of our energy.  What we can do with that past information though and from what we have learned in the past year governing this province is to get creative.  We as a province are used to doing things different, the maverick and independence that Albertans show again and again needs to be harnessed – but not restricted.  Listening is crucial, listening to Albertans, and you have already spoken, we don’t need to spend another dollar on engagement, particularly if we are going to stick with dogmatic politics. 

I’m calling on ourselves as the sitting party and our complement- yes, I’m going to change the name of opposition to complement, to sit down with our viewpoints, sit down with the voices of Albertans that we’ve already heard and actually do the hard work of making a plan for our economy AND our social responsibility.  A plan that is not a compromise, that is not a half way, a plan that refuses to sacrifice a perspective but an innovation- a world leader.  Let’s stop talking about collaboration, stop talking about innovation and stop talking about leadership and let’s do the collaborative, innovative, leading job of actually putting it in play. 

This will take a new approach, an approach that honors the diversity of Alberta – although a new idea in government this is not innovative in the realm of successful leadership and successful marriage.  These alliances, which serve the greater good and those they are responsible for, are most successful when they have shared vision, communication, respect, chore sharing and the ability to rebuild – we are not currently demonstrating these qualities as a government.  There is no blame in that though as party politics have always led to a winning and an opposing view – who could run a marriage or a business in this way?

The state of the province is in flux, we are having to face a movement away from relying on the instability of the energy market, our success depends on how we approach this.   The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them, as businessman James Cash Penney said Growth is never by mere chance; it is the result of forces working together.  In Alberta we have a lot of forces.  We have our conservative, liberal and new democratic views, we have our new immigrants and our first peoples and everyone in between, we are a colorful unit.

Perhaps this sounds too soft, too airy-fairy, but to work together is harder and more courageous than to continue tearing one another down.  My commitment as leader is to convene a Way Forward movement.  In the interest of stability we will continue on with the plans that this government and the previous government have set in motion and that are already being managed by our valuable civil service and we will also meet in a new way as a group of elected officials- as true representatives of our constituents- and we will evolve our conversations to look for the Alberta win-win. 

Finally, I cannot report on the status of Alberta without talking about our assets.  Our province is rich in natural resources, we are wealthy in beautiful spaces, we are abundant in technological prowess and we have the fortune of a people who come together when times are hard, people who stand up for what they believe in, people who take responsibility for their own chunk of this province and a people who care about one another.  As a government we must demonstrate our worthiness to care take such treasures.  I am asking you for your trust in this way forward and that you will continue to use your voice to keep us accountable to all perspectives.  Thank You.  

Life is fun.

It's been an emotional week.

My daughter Paige's graduation ceremony exposed a hidden memory.  A thought that had been carefully wrapped in the mind for just this moment.  I woke up Thursday morning with a feeling that I don't have a name for.  It was the same feeling that I had when we dropped Jake at University in the fall, a cocktail of pride and gratitude, bittersweet with a dash of loss.

As I sat in this and the tears rose up ( and continue to rise up every time I go there, like right now for instance) I remembered being 28 and in the hospital that first night that I was ordered to be admitted.  Laying there away from my babies I was stricken at the thought of not seeing them graduate.  I was not scared of cancer but I was very afraid of missing their landmarks.

Now I'm here.  Is this exaltation? It's definitely an octave above gratitude.  I'm glad that I'm alive.  I'm glad that I have seen Jake and Paige graduate, and at the time of that great fear had no inkling that another person would be joining our family.

I'm going to switch gears here a second.  My cousin-friend-sister-mighty companion Jodi and I have been talking a lot about fun.  When I looked up fun (for someone who from day one wanted to know everything Google is the greatest gift) it is described as the interface, or the perfect combination of the expected and novelty.  Of the known, some safety, and the unknown- a sparkle of surprise.  Too much unknown and it gets scary, too much known and it's boring.  Unless we've limited ourselves completely life is seldom boring, often scary, and there is a perspective that offers another option.

This is where the search has brought me.  Life is fun.  Spiritually I'm sitting in a place of knowing that we are eternal beings, we are energy and cannot be created nor destroyed.  This eternal being is completely free and unconditionally loved.  This is the known.  Add in the unknown, this created, temporary condition called being human and you find the overlay that adds fun.  Does this mean spiritual being alone is not fun, well, it would be beyond fun- but we are not there right now, we are here.  Here at the amusement park, strapped in safely on the roller coaster.

What I'm liking about 45 is having the awareness that after every drop there is a rise.  I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks I've said "we could have relaxed if we'd had a crystal ball", My cancer, my sister in laws infertility, even the losses that we thought someone could never recover from tend to rise to unexpected and joyful places.  If only I could trust that it would all work out.  From here it's getting easier, and supported by faith that in the end it is all truly well allows for a safe dance floor to swing about with the unknown.

The mantra that's been coming has been 'you are taken care of'.  Comforting, it's allowing me to slow down, allowing me to play.

Maybe I am graduating too.

With Love,
Fawna

Read Full Cancer Story
Coming soon:  The Circle of Trust :  a way to healthy relationships

I'm Fatter Now

It's now been 2 years since I finished Cancer Treatment.  I spoke this weekend at the Canadian Cancer Society BC Volunteer Conference, it was a joy and the topic, of my choosing, was "You Matter, Receiving".
It also put me into some second year reflection.  Gone are the casseroles and the 2 days in a row in the same pajama's, gone are the "I love you Fawna, Thinking of You Fawna, What Can I Do for you Fawna", gone are the cards and flowers and the random gifts.  I'm fatter now, there is a paunch, and hair in my eyes, and hair on my legs.  I hope you are laughing with me now, this is a totally false 'pity party'.  I am so happy and the love that was inside of every casserole and message has stayed- multiplying in fact.  The paunch is a sign of good living, of beers and pizza and watching movies and playing cards and campfires.
I'm sharing with you now after so long as I had kind of forgotten how much I like sharing my unique perspective (and how much I like to hear yours).  I had 15 minutes to speak before dinner and within the first minute I had them in tears.  Funny thing, it wasn't the story about a 28 year old with a 1 and 2 year old and Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, I simply had them close their eyes, place a hand on their hearts and truly receive a thank you.  There were tears and the tears shocked them.
One of the social media sites I'm on says that I have a "passion for helping helpers", it's true and when I saw that recently I thought "wow, when did I think of that?" as there may not be a consistent message in my social media, but that is another story.

I've blogged it before but it bears repeating, I would never tell a giver to stop giving, they can't, they won't, but if they don't keep their tank full- they won't have the option.  Mark 12:31 Love your neighbor as yourself.  This is not love your neighbor more than yourself, nor love yourself more than your neighbor and yet these are the two options we generally choose.  There are loads and loads of blogs and inspirational messages right now about the importance of giving, sometimes I think they ignore the fact that there is about 1/2 the population who are wired to give, who's entire identity is caught up in giving.  This is who I'm talking to.  The ones who hold the flip flops and sunscreen while others enjoy the pool, who say they are happy- and they are because their happiness is dependent on the happiness of others.  To them I am saying, jump in the pool, everyone will be the better for it.  We can take turns caring and supporting, being cared for and being supported- take your turn, take it before Cancer, or Depression or and accident leaves you having to- forcing receiving, or ending up with the gross combo of receiving + guilt.

This was my message to the volunteers, the benefit of doing something twice is that you get to apply your learning from the first time.  The first time I had cancer I had to do some receiving, but I blocked as much as I could, keeping on the brave face and asserting my fineness.  The second time that went out the window, I received everything, every emotion that came my way- I opened it and it passed quickly- I received the thoughts as they came, I watched them and sorted them and only kept the ones that connected me to life.  I received the gift of play when my friend showed up with Bubbles, I received the gift of art and a personalized yoga breathing session and healing treatments and prayers and pillows and food and holy water and love and tears and fears (my own and those of my friends) and from my spiritual mentors I received Truths.

Bottom line, it went easier, it went better, I recovered quicker and was back helping much sooner.  If I keep typing that won't be the bottom line :)Thank You for being there (receive that please).  As one of the participants so perfectly put it after the talk "I realized while you were talking that giving is receiving and receiving is giving".  And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Everyday Aha: Little Piece of Black Tape

Everyday Aha: Little Piece of Black Tape: Last week I had the engine light on my vehicle come on.  We are heading on a long trip so this seemed to be a concern, but as is a practice ...

Little Piece of Black Tape

Last week I had the engine light on my vehicle come on.  We are heading on a long trip so this seemed to be a concern, but as is a practice now it ended up teaching me a few things, the lesson was cemented by my brother who said “a little piece of black tape works”, having found out it was the catalytic converter I thought he was talking about tape there- but no, he meant put a piece of black tape over the check engine light, ha ha.

The message I was taking in about the light was how I would focus on it, trying and trying to make it go away and yes, even blocking it with my hand while I drove.  The warning light is benign of course, like things that go wrong in our life, only a signal- a hey, hey - look deeper.

How often though do I end up dealing with the messages and disregard looking deeper?

Every perception that we have is an engine light, when we are at peace- no engine lights, no warnings, no ‘hey,hey’.  When we have any negative feeling at all it is a call to lift the hood and look inside.

Painting the engine light, a piece of black tape, or my hand would hide it for a bit.  I could have even disconnected the wiring to the engine light.  The metaphor for this is how we disconnect- drinking, watching TV, food, work- also benign, neutral, distracting but I’m not suggesting ‘bad’.  Like a soother temporarily helpful, but never satisfying the hunger.

What is the hunger, what is the engine trouble?  To completely skip ahead it is our perceived separation.  From one another and from the Infinite, All Powerful, Creator.  This is me, your mechanic of the moment postulating, after seeing many engines this is probably the problem.  This does not negate the need to go in and take a look and fix it.  Not a mechanic?  Not a meditator?  Not familiar with embodiment or energy work?  Not an enlightened Master (yet)?  No matter, there are friends who are.  They will go with you, they will show you the way until you become your own mechanic.

First we look, then we assess, then we fix.  I’m gonna go beyond the ‘wow, that’s a neat metaphor’ and spill all the beans here.

Look = meditation, inner work, focussing on awareness, noticing, follow it all the way back (“What’s Behind this?” again and again until you reach a space of THIS IS IT.

Assess = ask yourself, ask your highest Divine self, ask the Divine “IS THIS TRUE?” for everything you find.

Fix = Forgive, now having seen clearly what the engine trouble is (false beliefs), say, ummm, I don’t want this anymore, I choose ____________________.

Believe me, nothing is ‘unfixable’- in the end you find that nothing was ever broken and the engine lights are reset to ‘all is well’.

I love you.
Fawna

Perspectives

Good Morning!

Yesterday I was on the verge of cancelling the Calgary sessions of Inner Harvest, there are ‘only’ 2 participants registered.  As you can imagine this seemed to cause me some suffering.

Through practice I have come to a place where I can catch this suffering and recognize it for what it is, a misalignment, a perspective and nothing more.

This morning I am in such a different perspective, in full gratitude that the 2 participants are an artist and a photographer and their perspectives on the revelations that I will share will help me to see deeper.

From the point of view that I was at yesterday I was seeing “is this worth my time and money”.  I am not saying that this is not a valuable question, it is definitely worth looking at WITHOUT JUDGMENT.  There’s the rub, to this conversation I also brought some blame and shame- they are kind of like thing one and thing two in the Cat in the Hat- they cause mayhem with the Peace.

I felt confused.

I started to reach outwards in desperation, asking my marketing friends their opinions and luckily sending an honest note to the owner of Wolf Willow studio.  I say luckily because her response was honest. Open conversation facilitates decision making.  I am going to use this picture to describe what happened in my mind.

From the viewpoint of ‘not enough time and not enough money’ I was in victim.  In victim I am afraid, when I’m afraid I have two options- fight or flight.  Those little rascals blame and shame were saying “you didn’t start soon enough”, “none wants to come- who do you think you are”, “Michelena is going to want to be paid anyway and you are going to be out money”, “You should just bail on it, it’s not worth it”.  They were having a real party in there.  I will flesh out the characters a little.  The victim in this story played (very well I might add) by Fawna Bews, Bully played by Fawna Bews inner voices, Michelena, everyone who should come to the workshop and isn’t.  Rescuers played by other workshop participant, Michelena (in my victim hopes that she would say- ‘hey, don’t worry about it, just let it go’), my marketing friends.  Now, let me mention that I assigned all of these roles, my choice- I am the Director :)

So, with Faith, and I realize this morning that that can be faith in yourself or Faith in something bigger, Faith in the Truth of who I am.  My believe, my faith is that there is a bigger plan, that I am provided for, that we are all connected (so numbers really don’t matter).

This shot me into the other Triangle, as creator it is so much fun, Michelena in her honesty became security, secure in that I can trust her to tell me her truth and she will provide amazing space for the workshop, the other participant became Love, I couldn’t create without her participation.  My overall feeling therefore shifted from Disappointed to Grateful.  I am so excited to share my work with a photographer and an artist, it will allow us to reinforce the connection and go even deeper- it is in fact, perfect.

That in a nutshell is my work and what I am jumping up and down excited to share with you- because it feels so good and makes even the struggles kind of fun.  Inner mountain climbing if you will.

The core of my work, which I will share in each and every session as it requires an entire mind shift is based on the circles (video here) and the triangles above.

Sharing with Love,
Be The Harvest,
Fawna
Registration for Inner Harvest Sessions, Calgary and Longview, Individual or Entire Series

BLOOM

So, you've taken the moment to stop and plant.  You've looked inside and seen clearly what's been driving you.  You've seen the difference between ego and True Self and you even know how to turn up the volume on True Self and volume down (or out) on ego.  YES- you did!  At this point you have a better sense of who you are and Wow- you may even like her.

In Bloom we will appreciate your unique essence and what you have to bring to the Whole.  You are an invaluable piece and your expression matters.  

Your expression matters.  

This step is about clarity and standing in your true power- picture a rose in bloom.  

To get a sense of this workshop I invite you to remember a time when you felt confident- even if it was years ago and only for a moment.  Go into that feeling , it's a YES feeling, now- imagine that as a stabilized sense of being.  Supported by Spirit ( ever loving, ever proud Divine Mother and Father) you are in the spotlight AND loving it.

My goal is to make this our new normal :)

No buts,

Love you,

To register http://www.innerharvest.eventbrite.com

Fawna

SPROUT

On Friday when I was writing about PURIFY I was thinking “This is my favourite part” and now as I sit to write this I think “This is my favourite part”.  Ha ha ha.  To me this journey of discovery is so VERY FUN- not a serious event to be taken seriously.

Sprout, like emerging from a deep sleep, moving from that fetal position and stretching the arms and the legs out, moving from tight to relaxed.

At this point we will be exploring the HOW of Albert Einsteins quote “No problem can be solved from the level of consciousness that it was created”.  Like “Be the Change” from Ghandi we have an instinctual nod and ‘yes’ to this statement, and then what?  How do I change my level of consciousness, I know I need to see the bigger picture, or see this in the light, but how?

Just as a seedling finds its way to the light naturally, so are we drawn out of our darkness and into new awareness.

In this workshop we will experience this shift and discuss tools to make this a more stable place of being.

So for a taster, close your eyes and take whatever issue pops in to head in with you.  Picture yourself in a seed, in a tight container where you can’t see.  Then in your minds eye, with your problem in your hand stretch into the light.  Be willing to see it differently and then receive your helpful information, be open to hearing it through the day, as we will discuss in session two- the Wisdom is always talking to you.  Okay, then let me know if this works because I am free styling it here, listening to what to write- ha ha ha.

Calgary sessions are scheduled to begin Wednesday, September 18 at Wolf Willow Studio
Longview sessions are scheduled to begin Saturday, September 21, at my house

Registration and more info. here http://www.innerharvest.eventbrite.com.

Take your day lightly,
I love you,
Fawna

PURIFY

Okay, workshop #3 will be Purify, if you haven’t been following I am doing a daily cover on each of the 6 workshops I will be offering in the Fall, the Inner Harvest Series.

This might be my favourite part...The awareness of the voices in my head has certainly been beneficial! 

Once you stop (PLANT) and SENSE, you too will become aware of voices in your head.  In this workshop we will look at the boom of the ego and the whisper of Your Inner Wisdom (Ninja?) and how to switch those volumes around.

Using the plant analogy, the plants use both roots and leaves to filter out toxic and unwanted items, we will be looking at how to sort and welcome nourishment into our growing Self Identities.  How to search through the cluttered mind, with the aide of spirit and the body and decide what you want to keep and what you don’t want to keep.  Even just realizing that you have a choice is a great freedom!

So, for an immediate little taster...You may have read this before but I’m asking you to take it a step further.

THE TWO WOLVES A CHEROKEE STORY

A young boy came to his Grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had done him an injustice.

The old Grandfather said to his grandson, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy. Hate is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf, is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper.”

"He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both of the wolves try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and said, "The one I feed."

So for the next day just notice, just notice which wolf you are feeding.  What are you telling yourself?  What are you hearing?  What are you reinforcing and who is being fed?  

AND then- send me a note, I want to hear how it went. 

To go deeper into this and have some great experiences of how easy it is to hear the ‘good wolf’ please join us in Longview or in Calgary- Details Here

Tomorrow we will tap into SPROUT- moving from the darkness to the light, 

Happy Weekend, I Love You.

Fawna

Sense

As we continue to look at the new workshop series we are also looking at steps in a process.  Here is an outline of that process, and I see it as circular, actually I see petals on the flower of life (if you are really visual :)).

Plant  >>  Sense  >>  Purify  >>  Sprout  >>  Bloom  >>  Harvest  

Yesterday we covered plant, basically it is STOP, come to halt so that you can take stock.  

This second workshop is for those of you who are interested in hearing more!  The Universe is always in conversation with you, due to largely unconscious filters we miss most of it.  In this 3 hour session we will explore tuning in, hearing your bodies yes and no and the extra senses (clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience, claircognizance).  This is taking a survey of your situation as it is right now from an expanded viewpoint.  We will also take a trip through the Chakra’s and discuss the practical use of this information.  

Perhaps you feel that this doesn’t apply to you.  The truth is that being able to sense better makes EVERYTHING easier, leads to better understanding and simplifies decision making.  The other misconception is that you can’t do it, “ha ha ha” I say, I haven’t met anyone yet who cannot tap into whatever information that they truly want to.  

There is no need to wait for the workshop, you can start now (NOW is all we have).  Make the decision to hear the Universe, to be open to your questions being answered and LISTEN.  

I have used the example before that many of us are good at asking and then terrible at listening, imagine driving into a McDonalds and ordering a burger and then never driving forward!  

A hint at how you might hear is to close your eyes and imagine your last vacation.  Notice how you sense it, is it the sights?  the sounds?  the feelings?  Use that as a guide to how you might sense the easiest, for example if I SEE my vacation then I may be more attuned to visual information, when I ask the Universe a question I will look for visual input- signs, dreams, I’ve even heard of people receiving answers in a license plate on the car in front of them. 

If you want to explore this further in a group format the registration is here:  http://www.innerharvest.eventbrite.com and the dates for SENSE are Sept. 25 in Calgary and Sept. 28 in Longview.  

Any questions about this?

Love, 

Fawna

Plant

Fall is here, one of my favourite and most productive times of the year.  I love the smell of the cool air and school supplies.  I have not blogged since the flood June 20, 2013 in our area, this is mostly because I have a log jam of a blog in me that has yet to burst forth.  She is sitting at the gestational stage a little longer than most as she has required some development on my part.  The great thing about being hooked into Divine timing vs. prior concepts of when a blog should be delivered is that I can relax and not beat myself up too badly (working towards not at all!).
With this life cycle in mind I would like to use this space to flesh out the Fall workshop schedule so that you can feel into how this might fit for you.  This will be a 6 part workshop series, mid September to end of October and will be running in Longview and Calgary with an online self study in development.  Each workshop is a stand alone or you may choose to do all 6 and complete a process.  Over the next 6 days I will offer some pre-information, but please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

PLANT  (Register Here)

Even as I write this I sigh.  Whirling Dervish?  Tornado?  Hamster on a wheel?  Do any of these descriptors suit you?  or on the flip side- STUCK, INERT which is the exhausted version of the same.
We are busy.  In body and in mind.  Despite the piles of articles (almost every popular magazine is now talking about it) supporting meditation most of us feel that it is near impossible, or we have tried and failed.
“My mind is just too busy for meditation”.  In this workshop we will go there, there is nothing like embodiment to get a real sense for something, no matter how many books you read about riding a bike you will not get it until you get on.
We will go through the layers that keep us from STOPPING and look at the immense value of doing so.  In only 3 hours you will come away with a sense of what works for you and how you can put this into practical application in your life, immediately.  We will look at and feel concrete ways of grounding and connecting, stilling the body/mind so that the inner whisper can begin to be heard.
If you feel like you are one of those dry dandelion seeds blown about by the wind, yearning to settle and express yourself in a bigger way this workshop will appeal.  If you are feeling exhausted and unable to move but unhappy in the process, essentially planted in the much, we will go through how to find WHERE you want to settle your roots in and how to do that.
I feel like I should offer you some data as to the benefits of stopping and grounding and at the same time- isn’t it inherent?  We know it’s good for us, we just don't know HOW.
I’d love to hear your thought’s on this.  With Love,
Fawna

Blown Away?

Feeling ungrounded?  I have the image of the dandelion in my head, at the moment that they blow away.  Twisting and turning in what seems to be random and possibly even violent movements, sweeping up and dropping down, what a ride that must be.  

Like the dandelion many of us are feeling blown away in this space of time.  Physical experiences of pain, dizziness, tension, emotional tornadoes and even spiritual upheavals.  For many it feels like all that they know is now in question.  Some, like my friends in High River who are without a town in this moment (flood 2013), have been ripped up by their roots and now sit on the potters shelf dry and unsure, waiting to be transplanted and in some cases not even sure they will survive it.  

Take a moment and just allow yourself to completely feel the insecurity, the fear, the disappointment and the uncertainty.  Feel it in a safe place.  I’ve been noticing that it’s a bit like a song, it has a crescendo, a movement of great intensity and then there seems to be a pause, a sigh.  Once truly felt and expressed the listener can hear the pause and then the ... 

 “but, you know...”  

It’s a tentative little tune, almost afraid to utter the words “the good thing about this...”  and like a good song there is a feeling of satisfaction, of completion, of closing the circle.  

This is the landing.  Once landed you can begin to put down roots.  

Where are you going to put down roots?  I don’t mean in a literal sense, although I believe that when you set it in your mind it will happen in form, and I don’t mean in things.  IF things come to mind (and that is absolutely fine) follow it back a little.  For example “I want to root in a new beautiful home”  ask yourself what that would bring you, eg. peace, happiness, safety and root in that.  

Allow your roots to courageously drop into places that you’ve never thought possible before.  Maybe you didn’t feel worthy before, or you were afraid, but that’s over now.  Consciously allow yourself to be planted in Joy, in Love, in Abundance, in Freedom whatever word represents your deepest desire, the desire that underlies boats and businesses and even children.  You don’t have to give up these things, I’m going to say that again, you don’t have to give up these things, enjoy them, recognizing that they are temporary.  

Enjoy the temporary and Value the eternal.  

Drop your roots into the eternal now and grow like never before.  

And so it is (right?) :)

I Love You.  

Creating Tension

The one to one work that I have been doing lately has been delighting me.  Delight is not a word I use often, but it seems to best express the mixture of surprise and joy that I feel when ‘something new’ shows up.  

What I do in a session is feel into the energy of a person.  This usually looks like me holding your feet gently and moving my way up towards the head as guided.  I just stay open to what comes and something always does.  I listen to the body/mind/spirit and I invite you to join in.  Anyways- this is just setting the context for this morning, when I had one of those moments when I am taken off guard with a great visual and reframe.  I have permission from this client to share with you.

What I was seeing in my mind was this person was tethered to a fixed point, like a dog on a chain, but it was more like a leather lead.  She was pulling and pulling and the thoughts were - my past is holding me back, tying me down.  She was creating a lot of tension on the line and that’s exactly what it felt like- tension.   I explained this all to her and she reported that she could feel and see it as well.  In my mind’s eye I suggested some possibilities, untether, pull out from the center, dissolve the leash- but I heard no, no, no.  When this happens I am alerted to ask “Spirit, what would you have us do?”  

Here’s the good part.  The picture modified in my mind.  I saw that what I thought was the past, the centre, was actually the present and what I thought was the future was actually the past, a complete flip.

I shared this with the client and invited her to stop  move towards the present (the centre, the tether) and sit down, allowing the tension to go out of the rope.  Her body and mind immediately relaxed.  When I asked her what she was thinking she said “I’m trying to think but nothing is coming, my mind is resting and I was just listening to the birds!!”  This is a woman with a normally super busy mind, just moments before she had reported that her mind was going a million miles a second.  

I just love the metaphor of this, that we are actually tethered to the present and yet always pulling away from it, choking and exhausting ourselves, barking at everything that goes by.  

I’m going to try and capture more of these as the visuals and their stories are so helpful to me.  For now I am going to move towards the center and relax, letting go of the tension and knowing that I am firmly connected.  

Have a great weekend.  

Love, Fawna

Everybody Invited!

I am a sucker for those Facebook prom pictures where a popular kid takes an unpopular, autistic or shy kid to the prom.  I got thinking about it today, how it would float if you took a picture of a popular kid with the bully, “Please like my daughter _______ , she noticed that Bob pushed kids down, called them names and was generally rude and disruptive so she asked him to go to the prom.”

I’m not saying that bullying is the same as autism, or Downs Syndrome, but it has similar background pain to shyness and ‘unpopular’.  It is the difference between someone acting as a rabbit and someone acting as a porcupine.  The 'leave me alone' signal is different but it is the same fear of Love, fear of connection and corresponding underlying strong desire for love and connection.  

What REALLY interests me though is that these characters are always playing out in each and every one of us.  As I guide people into a calm state they will say “I am nervous”, or “I feel angry” or “I’m sad” and I will often be guided to say “who is nervous, or angry or sad?”.  As we look deeper we usually find an inner dynamic where there is a part that feels unheard and a part that has been over heard- dominant, handling it, in charge.  Sometimes this inner space can be like a gymnasium over run with inner personalities!

Here’s the fun part, whenever I ask a being of wisdom, holy spirit- whatever word you want to use- to join in, the answer is not what you would expect.

We have been kind of trained into a psychology of ‘let it go’ or ‘leave that behind you’.  Where spirit takes me is always inclusive, allowing everyone to come along for the ride, everyone to be heard, everyone gets to come to the prom.

This means an acknowledgement that you are so much more than these parts that become a temporary identity.  As you look at them and listen to them, with the patience that you would listen to a needy child, they often settle.  Once heard these parts of us shed light on our unconscious beliefs, a sure sign to give understanding to our erratic or confusing emotions and behaviours.  Once understanding enters the picture it is so much easier to forgive.  Rather than letting go of these parts of us they are often transformed.

The ego, neediness and separation, keep these parts of us distorted.  When you get to see the real image through the eyes of love you will see the healed version.

Only love can heal.  Punishment and suffering extend the game of blame and shame.  While this boggles the thinking mind, what can I do then if someone misbehaves?  I ask you to do the inside work first, before you change anything in your actions on the outside.  Learning, change, healing starts at the cause, in the confused mind.

Find your inner bully, find your inner loser, find your inner lifeguard, get a limo.  and take them to the prom.  It’s going to be good.

Giving Birth

Last Thursday, after years of agonizing, a ridiculous number of coaching conversations and layers of unpeeling the onion I launched a book about my Cancer story.

Of course like real birth in retrospect it could not be forced before it’s time, it was not actually in my control and as I see in my children- it has a life of it’s own.

http://www.amazon.ca/Finding-Fawna-Cancer-Awakening-ebook/dp/B00CJ2WFU0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367246676&sr=8-1&keywords=Fawna+Bews

On Wednesday the birthing pains started in earnest.  I have come to know when something is ‘ready’ and this was definitely the feeling- hours of proofreading and consistent prompts (despite my meagre arguments) from Inner Wisdom led me to ‘just get it out’ onto Kindle on Thursday evening.

Rather than an advertisement what I want to share here is the aftermath.  I have now spent 3 days with diarrhea.  I recognized some time ago that instead of fear I will often experience diarrhea.  There is a fear of exposure, of rejection, of judgment and most of all my power, I noticed that I’m afraid of power because somewhere in me I think I could hurt someone, and somewhere in me I want to hurt someone.  My Power is Love, Love can only Love, real love cannot hurt.

I could blame this on the flu going around, but unfortunately on the course I’ve taken I no longer wish to reinforce that anything outside of us has power over us. Obviously (by the sprinting I’ve been doing) this is still a mental concept and has not become embodied.

Instead of processing or analyzing this this time I am just going with it.  Sinking into what ‘is’ knowing that in Truth I am safe, and not only safe, but harmless.

With the book, with this blog, in personal practice this is the direction that I am setting my compass- on Innocence.

If this sounds good to you, please sail away with me.

Love,
Fawna