Last Thursday, after years of agonizing, a ridiculous number of coaching conversations and layers of unpeeling the onion I launched a book about my Cancer story.
Of course like real birth in retrospect it could not be forced before it’s time, it was not actually in my control and as I see in my children- it has a life of it’s own.
http://www.amazon.ca/Finding-Fawna-Cancer-Awakening-ebook/dp/B00CJ2WFU0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367246676&sr=8-1&keywords=Fawna+Bews
On Wednesday the birthing pains started in earnest. I have come to know when something is ‘ready’ and this was definitely the feeling- hours of proofreading and consistent prompts (despite my meagre arguments) from Inner Wisdom led me to ‘just get it out’ onto Kindle on Thursday evening.
Rather than an advertisement what I want to share here is the aftermath. I have now spent 3 days with diarrhea. I recognized some time ago that instead of fear I will often experience diarrhea. There is a fear of exposure, of rejection, of judgment and most of all my power, I noticed that I’m afraid of power because somewhere in me I think I could hurt someone, and somewhere in me I want to hurt someone. My Power is Love, Love can only Love, real love cannot hurt.
I could blame this on the flu going around, but unfortunately on the course I’ve taken I no longer wish to reinforce that anything outside of us has power over us. Obviously (by the sprinting I’ve been doing) this is still a mental concept and has not become embodied.
Instead of processing or analyzing this this time I am just going with it. Sinking into what ‘is’ knowing that in Truth I am safe, and not only safe, but harmless.
With the book, with this blog, in personal practice this is the direction that I am setting my compass- on Innocence.
If this sounds good to you, please sail away with me.
Love,
Fawna
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