A Tale of Two Masters

2 blogs in one day- wow- talk about going slow to go fast! Actually I received a piece of writing today that I want to capture and share.

My friend Gayle (makes me feel a bit Oprahish) and I had a most excellent conversation today.

At Destination Coach the focus is on 'pulling out' or trusting another person to have their own answers- this is accomplished by TRULY listening- without attachment, without MY story interfering.

A Course in Miracles, which I'm currently working my way through (with Gayle), speaks of the 'holy instant' which comes from seeing another as totally guiltless and sinless.

So it was from this place that I spoke with Gayle today.

The good friend that I am I laughed at her misery, I agreed that the world is a shit hole, and I invited the Holy Spirit to join us. At some point the conversation shifted and Gayle joined me in laughing at her misery. She is a wonderful writer and I would love to share her reflection on today.



A TALE OF TWO MASTERS

On February 3, 2011, I woke up in the middle of a war zone. When I opened my eyes, on one side darkness, suffering, destruction and on the other side standing in the midst of chaos, truth.

Let me go back a little. I walk around this world wanting to get off. I want to go home. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me to remember who I am. I sit with as much “willingness” as I consciously believe I have. “Only you can derive yourself of anything”. (p.201; 4.) Fine! So, I ask again. “To the Holy Spirit, there is no order of difficulty in miracles” (p. 105; 4) Great! So I ask again. Please, let me see a miracle! I am willing to do anything, to go anywhere, to do whatever the Holy Spirit asks of me. So, with as much conviction, confidence, and determination, I ask again, “Holy Spirit, help me to remember who I am.

Think; don’t think, “You’ll always be wrong”. Be willing and “trust implicitly your willingness”. Ughhhhhh! So, with all due respect, how will I know when it’s Ego or Holy Spirit? The interaction appears seamless. Will it be something I see, feel, or think? (Don’t think, you’ll always be wrong) Hmmmm…… Conflict and chaos, the war wages on.

I feel like there are three of us in here: Ego, Holy Spirit and me. No wonder I’m confused. Did I mention the big shit pile outside? Does anybody else see it? How do people walk around content? I have been looking at the “it”, whatever the “It” is, forever, but as long as I can remember there has always been something, I couldn’t quite put my finger on. There is something else out there. Quiet, still, patiently waiting. “Holy Spirit, Is that You? Please, let it be You!”

Bringing my shit pile to the light and talking about it is healing for me. I believe it heals because it is truth and in this truth I find peace, love and God.
Recently, I told my 13 year old daughter, who was looking for that “something”, she couldn’t quite put her finger on, to be aware. Just be aware of what “it” feels like and when “it” feels like peace grab it with all you’re worth because THAT is who You really are. If only for a moment, you can “remember who you are”, you will have found heaven, here, in this illusion, or in my case, here, in my big shit pile!

Gayle Thorburn
Gayle is the founder and co-owner of the Highwood River Inn