Fawna, Clean Your Room!!!

Thought I had my computer but I don't, I'll get to do this blog from my iPhone!

Catching inspiration as it strikes.

I've been mulling over how to share the difference in my approach to cancer last time and this time- on the outside it may look very similar- on the inside a little different.

On my way home from radiation I saw a helpful metaphor in my mind.

I saw the Febreze commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpB_MfhSreM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

The rooms are my mind, Febreze the tools I've accumulated (angels, affirmations, reframing, etc.).

I've collected a lot of tools- and they work. Instead of sitting in a filthy stinking room I am able to bring myself to a better, fresher smelling place. This is what I accomplished 12 years ago. Relative peace. This was peppered with the occasional deeply peaceful, Grace filled moments for sure, but generally it was a kind of 'good suffering'. There is no judgement here- only an awareness.

This time I have the tools to actually clean the room up. Continuing to use the Febreze over and over works, but ensures ups and downs- I would wait for the stink and then- squirt, squirt. Lately I've been questioning the logic of sayings like "if I didn't know pain how would I know joy", or "no rain, no rainbows". While these give us hope that this too will pass it also offers an acceptance - even a glory - in putting up with pain and suffering.

I am not saying we need to put all of our tools away- no, I'd rather clean in a pleasant atmosphere. I don't think we need to 'dive into the filth, roll around in it', neither can we remain blindfolded and get it cleaned up.

The Living Miracles Church refers to it as 'ghosting' and I'm sure you've had the experience of feeling a bit of pain, worry, anger and quickly using whatever you have to quiet it down- whether it be a crystal, a rye and coke, counseling technique or a spiritual idea.

The image that's been working for me is putting a nice blanket over a dog terd- still there, still a little noticeable!!!
Totally okay to let it dry out a little before you pick it up!

So, I've been using the opportunity this cancer time to clean my room, the banana peels (cancer) and the dirty socks (need for parental approval). I've recognized that whether I believe that the dirty socks came from a 16th century monk or my Uncle Roy, or myself, at some point I need to pick them up and decide if I want to keep them or not.

Inspiration spent I'm going to enjoy a rooftop beer with my brother- cheers!

Fawna