Thursday, August 26, 2010

Banging Heads

Yesterday morning my nephew came over for his weekly play date. Tony is 3 and Gus is 4, "Gus, Tony's here" and with that Gus came running and Tony went running for him. BAM. Head to head, knocking them both over. I held my breathe, they looked at each other- rubbed their heads and burst out laughing. Whew, what a difference a couple of months make.
When my sister in law and I made the agreement to each have the boys a day a week it was a survival strategy. They are both the third kid, tough and rambunctious and exceedingly curious (read- destructive!). The first few dates were tenuous. A head banging incident such as this one would have meant yelling, blaming, tears, "your not my friend" and an hour or two of consoling.
So what happened? A relationship happened. Trust happened. Somehow these two boys have developed the ability to 'let things go'.
It reminds me of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul Story" about a man in an airport. His kids are running around and annoying the other passengers, after a long period of this the man apologizes to the writer with "I guess none of us know what to do since their mother died". WOW instant change of perspective.
Is it safe to assume that if you knew more about people you would be more forgiving?
Today I'm thinking that if Gus and Tony can do it, I can probably muster some 'overlooking'- Thanks Boys! Uh, oh - where are they now? gotta go...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

If I were the Dalai Lama

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - DECEMBER 05:  His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama speaks at the Vector Arena on December 5, 2009 in Auckland, New Zealand. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet is visiting New Zealand conducting Public teachings to New Zealanders.  (Photo by Hannah Johnston/Getty Images)At a workshop a month ago a lovely man was sharing his experience of attending a talk by the Dalai Lama. He spoke of the happiness and peace that the Dalai Lama exuded, the feeling in the room, the fellowship of the large group.

The thought that occurred to me was- how peaceful and happy would you or I be if you were told from early childhood that you were special, that you were a spiritual leader, that you were 'the one'? It worked for Jesus!

The Buddha was raised as a wealthy prince, so beloved by his parents that they did not want him to see anything that would upset him. He was told that he was special.

I looked up Muhammed to see what kind of childhood he had. He too had a privileged upbringing, his parents died early, but- and I don't know this for sure- there was a good chance that he too was treated as very special. They were wealthy people and after his parents death Muhammed was raised by his grandfather and Uncle.

How would you behave if you were told (and you believed) that you were the face of God on Earth? How would you treat people if you were told that you were a great teacher?
Would you find it easier to speak directly to the Divine if you had been told that you could? If you believed that you were valuable and special?

What if you believed it now?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

July/August Newsletter

Hot Tips For A Happy Life
July and August 2010


Sitting here today completely enjoying 'So You Think You Can Dance Canada' and I'm amazed at how my

body knows good dance. Certain dancers just bring tears to my eyes, completely beyond thinking and rationalizing,

just unsolicited tears, goosebumps or involuntary dancing along. This speaks to June's newsletter- Did you try it?

Did you figure out what really 'jazzes' you. Don't worry if it was hard- that's part of the process, it's absolutely amazing

how disconnected we can be and continue to function, albeit unhappily, in this world. This is why I gave you an extra month

to work on it (smiles).

Often it is easier to know what definitely 'unjazzes' (made up word- feel free to use). These, 'definitely not this' moments

can be harvested too. Play with them, flip them- I hate mornings to I love evenings for instance.

That brings me to this months topic, as promised- "okay- I noticed that I am about 99% default program- what do I do"?




Okay, here's the thing. As children we are essentially an open book to be written upon, your actual brain waves are almost

always in alpha and theta- perfect for learning, with alpha creating a port between the subconscious and the conscious mind.

This is not to blame anyone because we are all in the same boat!

The process of waking up, finding consciousness, self awareness, self actualization, the road to joy- whatever you would

like to call it are essentially ways to describe undoing the programming or domestication of ourselves. The 'just noticing'

process that you tried in June was the starting point, if you missed the June issue you can read it at

Once you notice though, how do you delete this programming you no longer want? I would love to have just one quick answer to this

question, but like the good coach that I am, I am going to ask you another question.

But first- a story-

A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One wolf is evil and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride,

superiority, selfishness and arrogance. "The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity,

humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep VISION."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other human as well."

The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out; "Oyee! Grandfather,

which wolf will win?"The elder Cherokee replied, "The wolf that you feed."

The question is, "How do you feed your good wolf?". A lot of counseling, coaching and spiritual teachings focus on the

'bad wolf', my preference is to feed that good wolf, allow the rest to be noticed, to fall away and enjoy yourself in the process.

Now, don't get me wrong- I'm not advocating repressing, hiding or ignoring those less desirable feelings or thoughts- quite the opposite- feel it completely,

it's part of the human game, but as soon as you have felt it reach for the nearest 'good wolf food'.

Follow your Bliss friend! Next month: "The Work"- a great tool for a truly happy life.


I'd love for this to be a two way conversation, don't hesitate to send me your comments, questions or enthusiastic praise.

I also invite you to join me for a one on one session in my cozy cabin. September is a bit of a time of renewal or starting over. Like New Years

many of us make plans around "when the kids are back in school I will...". Using a variety of gentle and powerful techniques I can enhance your

intuition and your connection to the answers that you need, they are all right there inside of you. Call me at 403 558 2236 or check out my website.

I think I can dance...