Yesterday I was on the verge of cancelling the Calgary sessions of Inner Harvest, there are ‘only’ 2 participants registered. As you can imagine this seemed to cause me some suffering.
Through practice I have come to a place where I can catch this suffering and recognize it for what it is, a misalignment, a perspective and nothing more.
This morning I am in such a different perspective, in full gratitude that the 2 participants are an artist and a photographer and their perspectives on the revelations that I will share will help me to see deeper.
From the point of view that I was at yesterday I was seeing “is this worth my time and money”. I am not saying that this is not a valuable question, it is definitely worth looking at WITHOUT JUDGMENT. There’s the rub, to this conversation I also brought some blame and shame- they are kind of like thing one and thing two in the Cat in the Hat- they cause mayhem with the Peace.
I felt confused.
I started to reach outwards in desperation, asking my marketing friends their opinions and luckily sending an honest note to the owner of Wolf Willow studio. I say luckily because her response was honest. Open conversation facilitates decision making. I am going to use this picture to describe what happened in my mind.
From the viewpoint of ‘not enough time and not enough money’ I was in victim. In victim I am afraid, when I’m afraid I have two options- fight or flight. Those little rascals blame and shame were saying “you didn’t start soon enough”, “none wants to come- who do you think you are”, “Michelena is going to want to be paid anyway and you are going to be out money”, “You should just bail on it, it’s not worth it”. They were having a real party in there. I will flesh out the characters a little. The victim in this story played (very well I might add) by Fawna Bews, Bully played by Fawna Bews inner voices, Michelena, everyone who should come to the workshop and isn’t. Rescuers played by other workshop participant, Michelena (in my victim hopes that she would say- ‘hey, don’t worry about it, just let it go’), my marketing friends. Now, let me mention that I assigned all of these roles, my choice- I am the Director :)
So, with Faith, and I realize this morning that that can be faith in yourself or Faith in something bigger, Faith in the Truth of who I am. My believe, my faith is that there is a bigger plan, that I am provided for, that we are all connected (so numbers really don’t matter).
This shot me into the other Triangle, as creator it is so much fun, Michelena in her honesty became security, secure in that I can trust her to tell me her truth and she will provide amazing space for the workshop, the other participant became Love, I couldn’t create without her participation. My overall feeling therefore shifted from Disappointed to Grateful. I am so excited to share my work with a photographer and an artist, it will allow us to reinforce the connection and go even deeper- it is in fact, perfect.
That in a nutshell is my work and what I am jumping up and down excited to share with you- because it feels so good and makes even the struggles kind of fun. Inner mountain climbing if you will.
The core of my work, which I will share in each and every session as it requires an entire mind shift is based on the circles (video here) and the triangles above.
Sharing with Love,
Be The Harvest,
Registration for Inner Harvest Sessions, Calgary and Longview, Individual or Entire Series