The title of today’s blog refers to the feelings a lot of my friends (and hence me) on Facebook are having to Amanda Todd’s death.
Two of my dear friends, two kind and compassionate souls sent me a petition to sign.
As I was writing this blog in my head I thought “I take my relationships seriously, so I need to respond”- which led to a ‘laughing’ that I recognize as a spiritual teacher- Tomas Vieira reminding me not to do that- ha ha ha. His message consistently is “don’t take anything here seriously” Thank You Tomas. So to be clear, the petition triggered me.
What came up for me with the petition was ‘no’. The petition is to arrest the youth who cyber bullied Amanda. Here is the story (no more, no less than a story) that unfolded in my head. If these kids are arrested, well, what is that going to cost- is that where our policing dollars should go? What if they are arrested, will our penal system do anything helpful? Will they grow from being blamed and shamed? Does anyone? Will their parents respond helpfully- or will they be pissed off at the inconvenience and embarrassment of having their child outed, will be be less loving and angry with their child. phew- in a matter of moments a whole host of forgiveness lessons unfolded. Then I remembered to go in and see what Spirit had to say.
When I went in I saw a stick- the stick of duality. Any time we buy into duality, that we are separate, the rule of this world- when we pick up bullying we pick up bully. The response to an attack is to be victimized or to attack. Did that come up for you- in response to Amanda Todd, the desire to attack, the feeling of helplessness?
I was encouraged by spirit to put the stick down, just set it down and feel. How do I see this story without holding onto the stick?
Something in me screamed “BUT WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING, WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO?”
do, do, do. The Ego’s drive- don’t think about what’s behind the do- just keep doing.
Spirit said “look”, so I looked at Amanda Todds story- as I had heard it told. I saw how this as a metaphor, a condensed version of our lives. Connect (her chatting on computer) be attacked, try harder, be attacked, try something else, being attacked and attacking herself throughout until- too much- too hard- take the body out.
And Spirit whispered words of my teacher:
“Do you want to understand or do you want Peace?” Tomas Vieira (to Nouk Sanchez)
How can we understand a story like this- which in truth- possibly to different degrees- is all of our story? I CAN follow it back, and back and back to a belief that we are not enough. I am not enough- this belief leads to these unintended consequences of attack and be attacked. If we got rid of computers we would get rid of cyber bullying, but as long as we believe that we are not connected we will feel vulnerable, when we feel vulnerable we will pick up the stick and it will show up in EVERY relationship. The internet is expanding the reach, making the pain more obvious, so that we can choose again.
Thoughts of “I am Whole” do not lead to attack and being attacked. The kids who bullied, the parents, Amanda, Amanda’s parents, Amanda’s grandparents and great grandparents, the bullies grandparents and You and Me...not enough. Here is where we can actually do something- despite what we see out there- we can choose to believe- believe that we are Whole, believe that everyone else is Whole. Seems big, just maybe crack the door open- I am willing to believe that I might be whole...Something stirs in me that this might be true (resist the temptation to collect evidence to the contrary).
Here is what I know. If I choose Peace first I will be led to the doing that is helpful. I will be kind to the people around me, and this person I believe to be me.
I may or may not sign the petition. I will not sign the petition out of attack, out of guilt, out of a false sense of understanding.
I so appreciate Jill and Ferlyn for their posts- their compassion for this girl- and for allowing me the chance to put the stick down for a couple of minutes and see my true choice.
Bless you Amanda Todd.
Link to the Petition