Everybody Invited!

I am a sucker for those Facebook prom pictures where a popular kid takes an unpopular, autistic or shy kid to the prom.  I got thinking about it today, how it would float if you took a picture of a popular kid with the bully, “Please like my daughter _______ , she noticed that Bob pushed kids down, called them names and was generally rude and disruptive so she asked him to go to the prom.”

I’m not saying that bullying is the same as autism, or Downs Syndrome, but it has similar background pain to shyness and ‘unpopular’.  It is the difference between someone acting as a rabbit and someone acting as a porcupine.  The 'leave me alone' signal is different but it is the same fear of Love, fear of connection and corresponding underlying strong desire for love and connection.  

What REALLY interests me though is that these characters are always playing out in each and every one of us.  As I guide people into a calm state they will say “I am nervous”, or “I feel angry” or “I’m sad” and I will often be guided to say “who is nervous, or angry or sad?”.  As we look deeper we usually find an inner dynamic where there is a part that feels unheard and a part that has been over heard- dominant, handling it, in charge.  Sometimes this inner space can be like a gymnasium over run with inner personalities!

Here’s the fun part, whenever I ask a being of wisdom, holy spirit- whatever word you want to use- to join in, the answer is not what you would expect.

We have been kind of trained into a psychology of ‘let it go’ or ‘leave that behind you’.  Where spirit takes me is always inclusive, allowing everyone to come along for the ride, everyone to be heard, everyone gets to come to the prom.

This means an acknowledgement that you are so much more than these parts that become a temporary identity.  As you look at them and listen to them, with the patience that you would listen to a needy child, they often settle.  Once heard these parts of us shed light on our unconscious beliefs, a sure sign to give understanding to our erratic or confusing emotions and behaviours.  Once understanding enters the picture it is so much easier to forgive.  Rather than letting go of these parts of us they are often transformed.

The ego, neediness and separation, keep these parts of us distorted.  When you get to see the real image through the eyes of love you will see the healed version.

Only love can heal.  Punishment and suffering extend the game of blame and shame.  While this boggles the thinking mind, what can I do then if someone misbehaves?  I ask you to do the inside work first, before you change anything in your actions on the outside.  Learning, change, healing starts at the cause, in the confused mind.

Find your inner bully, find your inner loser, find your inner lifeguard, get a limo.  and take them to the prom.  It’s going to be good.