A Birthday Present to Me: Newness

Well, today I am 40. I don't have a pile of attachment to it. I am grateful to have
made it here, I've been told many times that the 40's are great- so that sounds good,
but beyond that I have few feelings regarding the day or the age.

I do however recognize the value of celebration and of ritual and for this reason I
will be enjoying a wonderful dinner tonight and my house is currently infused with the
smell of chocolate cake (the first one baked by my 13 year old son).

My gift to myself this year is going to be Newness. I found myself telling a friend
"In 2000 I was laying in a hospital bed for my 29th birthday, I had a spinal headache from a second spinal tap and a good friend of ours was killed in a bullriding accident-
I haven't liked my birthday ever since!" This is how good of a friend she is- she
challenged me: "Why are you dragging that forward?" she said with an open heart and
looking me straight in the eye.

One of my favorite stories is of the two monks:

Two monks were making a pilgrimage to venerate the relics of a great Saint. During the course of their journey, they came to a river where they met a beautiful young woman -- an apparently worldly creature, dressed in expensive finery and with her hair done up in the latest fashion. She was afraid of the current and afraid of ruining her lovely clothing, so asked the brothers if they might carry her across the river.

The younger and more exacting of the brothers was offended at the very idea and turned away with an attitude of disgust. The older brother didn't hesitate, and quickly picked the woman up on his shoulders, carried her across the river, and set her down on the other side. She thanked him and went on her way, and the brother waded back through the waters.

The monks resumed their walk, the older one in perfect equanimity and enjoying the beautiful countryside, while the younger one grew more and more brooding and distracted, so much so that he could keep his silence no longer and suddenly burst out, "Brother, we are taught to avoid contact with women, and there you were, not just touching a woman, but carrying her on your shoulders!"

The older monk looked at the younger with a loving, pitiful smile and said, "Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river; you are still carrying her."
copied from http://www.fisheaters.com/twomonks.html



This year I am committing to 'newness', to seeing everything with fresh eye's (in my case I will be asking Holy Spirit to help me see the 'truth'). Do you remember the
feeling of seeing a vista for the first time, or a new baby?- ahhhh- without comparing,
judging or making mental leaps- that is where the magic lies.

So, I ask you to be a good friend and call me on my crap. Thank you to all of you
who have sent me well wishes, my heart is truly full.