Justify or Trust

I’m sitting here in Hawaii and I realize that my most common reason for blogging is- there is so much.  There is so much happening under the surface.  All through the time before this latest cancer event, during and now after I have such a sense of the outside life and the inside life.  I realize metaphysically that there is no truth to an inside and outside life, it is just a way of describing.

What I’m moved to share about is Trust.  When my friend Velva Dawn invited me to come to her house in Hawaii I felt an immediate YES.

Side story:  The day before leaving I held a workshop in Calgary, “Basics of Inner Discovery”.  I did a loose framework but felt strongly that showing people that they can easily discern a ‘body yes’ and a ‘body no’ would be of value.  One participant shared that “If this is all I get out of today it is more than worth it”.  What was lovely was that each person got a different sensation with the ‘yes’ and ‘no’- affirmation that while we are all truly connected, the map is unique for each of us- hence requiring the tuning in process.

So, in October she had also planned a trip to Hawaii- a bit of a celebration of completing the cancer cycle of 2012.  At that time I felt a strong body ‘no’ - after getting the no I filled in the blanks with lots and lots of stories/rationalizations of why, some that came back and bit me in the butt.  What I mean by this is, that in the rationalization of not going I mentioned the cost, wanting to travel with my husband instead, etc.  When I got a strong yes to this trip I had to answer to why, only a couple of months later, these were no long valid reasons.  I’m learning that, as A Course In Miracles says, “I don’t know what anything is for” and a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ are sufficient.

I trusted the Yes this time and as soon as I committed the blocks to love started to show up.  $$$$, “what do you think you are doing taking a trip without your family/husband”, “I deserve this, I had a shit year last year”.  With both the justifications for and against going causing waves in the trust and knowing of the ‘yes’.

This time I trusted the yes, sinking into it, allowing the turbulence to be and to pass, and as usual, if I don’t fight with them or buy into them, they do pass.

We have spent the week in this trust.  Spending today quietly together but apart, each in our own space checking in periodically- such a relief from the neediness that can invade the relationship and produce tension.  Each of us trusting our prompts throughout the week has led it to feeling like a month, has produced experience after experience of ‘completion’ and ‘contentment’.

Looking forward to bringing this home.  As usual I invite you to share how this resonates with you.

Aloha!

Fawna