The Aha that I had this morning is complex so I’m hoping to capture it here, it may be confusing, and that hasn’t stopped me before :) This one is for my cousin Rod who claims to need a Fawna Decoder ring.
I woke up early this morning with my taxes on my mind. I need to get my bookwork into my accountant 2 weeks ago. Despite this I spent yesterday reading and writing, I am really sure what my purpose and function are right now and am hungry to give my time to these pursuits. This doesn’t change the physical reality that it appears that I need to get my bookwork in, I have all of 2012 to do- and last week I reached out and I believe I’ve found a great person to do them. The problem is I can’t just take what I have- it’s a bit of a mess- not as bad as in the past but it will take a day to organize, once the organization is done I might as well do the data entry myself. This was my morning inner dialogue. As you know I have become quite good at watching for signs of guilt, I want to live a fearless life so removing these blocks to Love has become an automatic response. It wasn’t hard to see the guilt in this. This morning however I saw something built on a treatment yesterday and recent events at my workplace (I love it when it all comes together like this).
I have had several people reach this place of “this is it” while on my table the last few weeks. I know the feeling- it happened to me in Peco’s in an energy session with Stacy Sully. “It” is a state of normal more normal than normal (ha ha ha), it is a place of ease and nothing is wrong and yet it is not a ‘heightened’ state, not happy, not excited- it just IS. In this place energetically the mind is quiet and the spirit and body are in direct communication.
Another piece of the story is my recent trip to Hawaii- stay with me- I am going to pull this all together. My friend Velva Dawn was being diligent about her exercise, she’s been at it long enough to be craving it. Me, not so much. So when she asked me to join her in a hill climb I said “NO, I don’t want to but Spirit says I am”. We went for that walk and it was complete ease, we were shocked as we felt almost ‘pushed’ up the hill.
Okay, the Ranch part. So, in July my brother Joel and I became Co-Directors of Stampede Ranch for Kids. We have been finding our way over the last couple of months and last week we realized that we needed a Manager. We both want to be directors, neither of us want to manage. We took over this position from our Mom and Dad, our Mother is a master manager. Our parents were not as keen on some of the aspects of directing that we both like. This is all good.
Okay, back to corporation of Fawna. What I realized when I looked this morning is that under the directorship of the Ego, my managers (mind) in charge of organization, exercise, tooth care and nutrition were surly rebels who had grown as resistant as our 14 year old. We are now into a 3 week 'clean your room' stand off. Despite the fact that she can’t have her computer until she cleans her room she chooses to not clean her room under her parents unfair reign of terror. This is what The Living Miracles organization calls “the Authority Problem”. Where it is wily in the Ego’s case is that it is self fulfilling and self propelling, causing me to remain in a space of guilt and worry, away from the present moment where Truth (God, Love, Nature, All that Is) exists.
So, effective immediately, the managers of organization, exercise, nutrition and tooth care are under the leadership of Spirit. Spirit is patient, loving, kind and all knowing- perfect for the job. It may take some time for these managers to regain trust in leadership. This should reflect in better service to shareholders.
So then I ask, Who am I in this? Am I the shareholder? No. Are there just some limits to a metaphor? Of Course! I’ve been loving the writings of Ramana Maharshi and other Indian Guru’s recently, he directs us to keep asking the question “Who AM I?”. In this moment I believe I am the ‘experiencer’ of the corporation. As it becomes more aligned under the Loving God instead of the Punishing God (who idolizes death) my experience becomes easier, more loving, abundant, clear and care free.
That’s actually not that complex is it. Thanks for being with me in this.
Love, Fawna
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